In my culture when bride and groom have finished their vows, the pastor gives groom permission to kiss his bride. Here, they would never kiss in public (at least in the village), but the physical symbol of a pinky promise is used. The pastor joins their hands together in a pinky promise and pronounces them husband and wife, often using the words, “What God has joined together, let no man tear apart.”
An Arrow
Although each tribe has some difference in their traditions, all of them expect a bride price. When the price is completely paid (rather than partially and then getting the bride in advance), there is an arrow given to the groom from the Bride’s family. This symbolizes the agreement and also symbolizes his headship of the home. If he wanted to return her, he’d bring that arrow. If he dies, the person appointed as his heir who will help his family with any problems, will receive that arrow symbolically so that the kids know that certain issues which they would take to their father, they can now take to this man.
Bringing Her Home
When the service is over, typically we head to the bride’s home where her family gives gifts, they feed the wedding party and any important guests (like the pastor). They will also send the couple on to the groom’s home with advise from the elders.
There will be a group of people escorting the bride and groom to his family’s home. An aunt or cousin of the bride must escort her so that she can help her cook ‘ugali’ for his family the next day (part of the tradition). There will be a choir or two, many members of the groom’s family, some of the bride’s family, etc… They will wrap up all the presents received for the couple at the bride’s home, her clothes, and cooking utensils which she should have been carefully gathering over the years, these are all gathered in buckets and containers wrapped in cloths and brought to her new home. Then female relatives of the groom will carry these on their heads to the groom’s home. The entire procession will be singing and dancing as they bring their new bride home. It is quite a sight!
After much waiting the groom’s family is anxious to get the bride to their family’s home. So they often are impatiently waiting outside while the advise is being given or while we are eating. If they feel the bride’s family is trying to delay the inevitable, they will try to pull her from the home, or carry her away. It is all really a game and no harm is meant!
No comments:
Post a Comment